Life is Hell or so it seems

Just got sick again, for the third time today I think.  I am so tired of this.  I guess I may have to ask to see a specialist since neither my oncologist nor family doctor seem to have a clue.  Something has to be wrong somewhere.  The last visit to my oncologist he even asked me if I thought it was psychological.  Ha Ha - like I would ever dream of thinking myself sick.  I have woke up during the night and have gotten sick so that would be a good trick.

 

Sabian ran again.  He has been gone since last Saturday afternoon.  He was supposed to be going to work.  We don't know if he ever made it there or not.  He just never returned home.  He had talked about calling in sick so he could go to the Moonlight parade that Silvis had.  We told him No, he was scheduled to work so that was where he was going.  Guess he got mad about that, we don't know.  Not like there was a big fight or anything.  He has been going to school, which has us pissed off.  He is supposed to be listed as a runaway so he should have been arrested. But the a-holes at school figure as long as he shows up for school that is money in their pocket.  We have had people telling us about the crap he has been wearing at school, which we know he can't afford.  We figure we is dealing the drugs we know he has been using.  Sabian had so many people fooled, thinking he was such a nice boy.  Had us fooled too, until the last couple of months.  We just hope he doesn't end up dead or in jail, which is about the only two places he seems to be headed.  Nobody seems to be able to get through to him except his gang-banger buddies.

Pierre, on the other hand, has been great.  He doesn't want anything to do with his brother.  He willingly asks if there is anything we need help with.  He plays chauffeur for me if I have errands to run.  He has taken over Sabian's chores plus does his own.  We thank God that Pierre hasn't been a problem through all this.  I don't think we would have managed.

I have to try and get some sleep.  Still not sleeping well.  Always so tired...  I wouldn't wish that crap on my worst enemy, if I had one.  Appreciate every day - you never know what lurks around the corner.  Take care and leave me a comment or send me an email.  God Bless!

Still Plugging away

Yes, I am still here.  Been a bad day, on top of a bad week.  Still having tummy troubles.  Meds do not seem to be helping much.  I will probably end up back in the hospital unless something changes radically.

The good thing is that the kids are all back in school now! The peace and quiet was amazing.  I love them all dearly but the noise level drives me crazy some days.  Brenda and I had planned on doing some shopping today.  But I felt crappy and she didn't feel too good either.  Tomorrow hopefully will be better for both of us.

Enough for now - haven't slept good so time for bed.

Bad week

Yep, the title says it all :(

Was still feeling bad (tummy aches and running mouth) so broke down and went to the doc (yes, I am stubborn.) Blood tests were all okay. Was not dehydrated, which even I can't understand seeing how much I seem to spit out. Doc prescribed a couple of new meds, one to increase my appetite and the other to hopefully decrease the running mouth problem. Well so far I am eating a bit better but my mouth just doesn't seem to want to quit running. Really tired of spitting into a waste can or swallowing it. Gross, I know but what can I say. Cancer sucks! Just can't seem to get a break.

Not sleeping very good either. Take an Ambien CR and a Tylenol PM and still wake up most nights around 3-4am and take awhile to fall back asleep.

I am really starting to get discouraged. Been off of chemo for almost 7 weeks now and still am not feeling any better. Thought my body would recover better than this.

So sick and tired of being sick and tired :( Common complaint from cancer victims but still true. All I wish for at this point is ONE day where I don't hurt or feel so dog tired. Heck, I would settle for 8 hours.

Well, body says time for a rest. I will lay down for awhile and see what happens.

Take care!

Tuesday August 7th

Still not feeling too great - seem to be tired too much - tummy hurts alot. Should be feeling better by now. Might have to break down soon and go to the doctor to see what else I can try. One of those damned if you do and damned if you don't type of things.

Sabian is still home, being his usual PITA (pain in the ass) self. He is talking about going back to football. That is somewhat positive. Time will tell. We are not going to give up on him, no matter how bad he treats us.

Time to try to eat some supper. Please leave a comment, even if it is just to say hey!

Take care and God Bless.

Friday August 3rd

Well, on the Sabian front... he ended up back home. Brenda kind of caved because the police had only given Sabian a choice of coming home or going to the county jail. Sabian still says that he is out of here when he turns 18. We can only hope that he wises up before that happens. We have always wanted him to graduate high school and know if he leaves our house, he will drop out. He was doing great until he started listening to the wrong people. He hasn't said one word to me since he came back home Thursday afternoon. I am hoping that me having cancer is part of his problem. He has never said a word to me about it. That hurts to think he just doesn't care.

On the health front, today has been horrible. Have gotten "sick" four times, which I hadn't done in months. No clue as to why. Once or twice a day is normal. Tuesday I think I made it through the whole day without getting sick. Doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason why it happens. I so want to gain some weight but that is near impossible when my stomach usually feels so bad. I am down to 163 pounds now. Can't afford to lose much more. Sure don't want to have to go back to the hospital and get nutrition through a darn tube.

Well enough for now - please keep us in your prayers - take care and God Bless.