Just got sick again, for the third time today I think. I am so tired of this. I guess I may have to ask to see a specialist since neither my oncologist nor family doctor seem to have a clue. Something has to be wrong somewhere. The last visit to my oncologist he even asked me if I thought it was psychological. Ha Ha - like I would ever dream of thinking myself sick. I have woke up during the night and have gotten sick so that would be a good trick. 
Sabian ran again. He has been gone since last Saturday afternoon. He was supposed to be going to work. We don't know if he ever made it there or not. He just never returned home. He had talked about calling in sick so he could go to the Moonlight parade that Silvis had. We told him No, he was scheduled to work so that was where he was going. Guess he got mad about that, we don't know. Not like there was a big fight or anything. He has been going to school, which has us pissed off. He is supposed to be listed as a runaway so he should have been arrested. But the a-holes at school figure as long as he shows up for school that is money in their pocket. We have had people telling us about the crap he has been wearing at school, which we know he can't afford. We figure we is dealing the drugs we know he has been using. Sabian had so many people fooled, thinking he was such a nice boy. Had us fooled too, until the last couple of months. We just hope he doesn't end up dead or in jail, which is about the only two places he seems to be headed. Nobody seems to be able to get through to him except his gang-banger buddies.
Pierre, on the other hand, has been great. He doesn't want anything to do with his brother. He willingly asks if there is anything we need help with. He plays chauffeur for me if I have errands to run. He has taken over Sabian's chores plus does his own. We thank God that Pierre hasn't been a problem through all this. I don't think we would have managed.
I have to try and get some sleep. Still not sleeping well. Always so tired... I wouldn't wish that crap on my worst enemy, if I had one. Appreciate every day - you never know what lurks around the corner. Take care and leave me a comment or send me an email. God Bless!
2 comments:
hey buddy.. im not saying your trying to make your self sick but remember when I was sick a year ago or so remember I was in the hospital with all them 10,000 worth of bills guess what there was absolutly nothing wrong with NOTHING .. remember doc said it was panic or anxiety .. and that I personally caused all that was happening to me all the pain the nausia the headaches the heart hurting and beating so fast .. it was me I did it all to myself and I know that now after all that money spent I made my self sick .. I'm not saying you are but one can do terrible things to one's self just by thinking it.. and yes I woke up in the middle of the night sick to my stomach , heart beating out of my chest .. I made my self sick to even though I was sleeping I also made myself not able to sleep .. its called stress .. and boy do you have alot of it .. you have allot on your mind which i understand you have all the signs of it .. the sleepleness the mood swings the short temper all of it .. Its not your fault .. try and relax just a little bit try and do some deep breathing and see if that helps some. remember in threw the nose and out threw your mouth.. or you can ask the doc for some anxiety meds help you through all of this .. just remember im here for you ..
Your Buddy
Toni
Hey Kim,
Benn lookin' around for ya...now I see that you have been a busy man. Hope you son is k out there, I will be praying for his safety.
Sorry your not feeling much better, wish it was a little if any but, boo hoo it's not =( ...miss ya hope to talk soon.
forever your friend, Susan
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